Dating Firms Pledge to Weed Out Cheats and Fakes

Dennie Smith had a revelation while standing in a recreated World War I trench.

The self-confessed military history enthusiast recognized a major shortcoming in online dating apps during a trip with like-minded enthusiasts. They did not cater to the people beside her at the trench.

“A lot of dating sites are just about volume, and they include fake profiles that conceal scams,” she said.

Smith, who owns a hairdressing salon in Croydon, south London, decided to expand into the dating business, focusing on “the big market of geeky people.”

The founder of Geek Meet Club aimed to bring together like-minded individuals while excluding the many fakes she said have undermined online dating.

Vetting each applicant personally appears to satisfy Smith. “I’m very good at spotting a fake. But sometimes it’s easy, one person submitted a photo of Boris Johnson!”

She willingly rejects about 50 applicants per month rather than expose her 3,300 members to poor behavior.

Geek Meet Club exists to return dating to the offline world. “We do events, monthly quizzes, and I want to hire venues so people can come in costume,” Smith said.

This nod to elaborate disguises, popular among science fiction convention attendees, hints at Smith’s core audience. “Comic and sci-fi conventions are a big pull for geeky people.”

The goal is to encourage in-person meetings as quickly as possible because online dating has become a minefield of deception and fraud.

“I tell my members to meet in person as soon as possible, go for a coffee in the park, or on the High Street, to find out if the other person is legitimate,” Smith said.

Filtering out dating cheats also drove the creation of Cherry Dating.

It is the brainchild of Jo Mason, a City of London banker who grew frustrated with counterfeit profiles on dating sites.

“You look at profiles on these sites and ask yourself ‘is this person real?’. You have to be like a private investigator researching people’s profiles before you connect,” Mason said.

She listed ways online dating disappoints users. “Some people just want a fictitious romance but have no intention of ever meeting you. Or they’re married, or just want an online relationship.”

Catfishing, the tactic of luring victims into a relationship using fake images or status, takes many forms. “The lower end of catfishing just uses a 10-year-old photo. But some people may not look like their photo at all, or be a completely different person,” Mason said.

To combat virtual scams, Cherry Dating uses software that compares a selfie with a driver’s license or passport to verify each member’s authenticity.

A significant number of prospective members balk at the ID check and abandon the site. This approach aligns with Mason’s background in finance. “Big banks use this kind of approach to spot anomalies in accounts,” she said.

Cherry Dating quizzes users to assign a compatibility score, enabling informed decisions about connecting. “If you’re 80% compatible that’s good, you don’t waste time with someone who’s 5% compatible,” Mason said.

Research commissioned by Mason found that 47% of British respondents believe no dating app meets their needs, while 40% say dating apps have decreased their motivation to meet someone.

Separately, Sumsub, which sells fraud prevention services, surveyed 2,000 UK dating app users and found another issue: 54% of respondents admitted using AI to enhance their online profiles.

Jocelyn Penque, a UK-based Texan dating coach and founder of Dating Classroom, has been addressing the problem of profiles containing false information and AI-generated content.

“I coach people about their strategies,” Penque said. “My target audience are people who’ve been successful but have not prioritised relationships.”

With a technology background, Penque is not opposed to online dating, citing a positive family example back in Texas. “My father is 79 and he met his girlfriend through Our Time, a dating app for older people.”

Penque believes interest-specific and age-specific sites are more likely to succeed.

AI has a role, she said. “A lot of people aren’t good at expressing themselves, so Copilot or ChatGPT are useful if you don’t like writing.”

However, imprecise instructions can backfire. “Your prompts must be focused on what really matters, what your values are. So tell Copilot if you want a serious relationship and would like to have a family,” Penque said.

Penque’s solution is to move budding relationships away from screens as quickly as possible. In May, she took a small group of clients to the Azores for several days.

Located about 1,000 miles into the Atlantic from Portugal, the islands offer whale-watching and opportunities for introspection on finding the right partner.

“We were sitting in the middle of the Atlantic, it’s a completely different space, it’s much easier for them to think about new possibilities there,” Penque said, noting the remoteness contrasted sharply with staring at a screen.

Her own experience of ghosting in real life is jarring.

“I went out for a drink with a guy. We seemed to get along, but when he said he was going up to the bar he didn’t come back,” Penque said.

She asked the barman if he had seen her date leave. “I know him, he’s been coming here for three years and doing that,” the barman replied.

Whatever its limitations, AI has not yet learned to treat people so poorly.